Witchcraft, Prayers, Sixth - Sense, Psychosis

Witchcraft,,  Prayers,, Sixth-Sense and Psychosis.

Am i Mad...

 Maggie Pentons life was on a downhill spiral into the pit of darkness, living with the dead.
Long gone was the teenage dream of finding true love and happy ever after. Carrying the burden of suppressed emotions: friendship betrayals, relationship failures and death. Maggie sets out to find her true path and dabbles in magic, Fighting demons, calling to her spirit guides Maggie goes on the train journey of her life to be thrown into a different world of the paranormal.

From luxury apartments, mental institutions to being homeless.  Maggies faith is put  to the ultimate test.

Leaving Maggie questioning...

Who is God?

Are ghosts real?

Or: Am I mad?

AmyMaiden

Full Moon

Who is God? Which Angel is who?

Is Jesus really real? Does Satan exist?

Is Lucifer really the devil? Old lore…

Was the devil really an Angel once before?

Is there a Heaven? Is there a Hell,

I throw a penny down a wishing well,

And pray to the Sun and the Moon,

To Mother Nature, to Mother Earth…

I fight the demons, I place a curse upon them.

I cast a spell, I make a wish…

I pray for a better tomorrow starting today,

Set me free, free my mind…

Bring me good blessings and all I deserve,

As I stand here in the universe.

Lead me into divinity into sublime.

For ghosts are real, their spirits are alive..

For my imaginary friend is by my side!

I call him Grim

I knew him in life

He says he’s alive.

I needed confirmation.

Your not alive your dead, why are you in my head?!  We argue

We laugh, we talk.

I see his face, I see his smile,

I love his style….

I hear his voice -definitely male…heaven sent to me,

Or maybe I was sent to him,

Living in the astral world of temporary insanity - whilst I stand with Grim in my mixed up reality on planet \Earth

Sixth sense we shall see if we make eternity…

And what if we do? Who is God? Who am I? Who are you?

Are we souls having a human experience? Is Earth a test?

I can only strive to do my best.

Be the best that I can be.

..whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours..
Mark 11:24 - Belief - Faith - Bible Quotes

Amy Maiden

Am i Mad... Amy Maiden

Witchcraft,  Prayers, Sixth-Sense and Psychosis

 Maggie Penton life came crashing down, a downhill spiral into the pit of the underworld, living with the dead, Long gone was the teenage dream of finding true love and happy ever after. Carrying the burden of suppressed emotions: friendship betrayals, relationship failures and death. Maggie sets out to find her true path, to remove the blockages that are crushing her soul. Fighting demons, calling to her spirit guides Maggie goes on the train journey of her life to be thrown into a different world of the paranormal.

From luxury apartments, mental institutions to being homeless.  Maggies faith is put  to the ultimate test.

Leaving Maggie questioning...

Who is God?

Are ghosts real?

Or: Am I mad?

Am I Mad Amy Maiden

Available on Amazon

Mind Invasion

Bizzare Activity...


I burst into tears. I don’t feel grief stricken or panicked yet have an
overwhelming feeling that I am about to loose something. I
wonder what it is. What I am holding on too, that keeps me locked in
stagnation, what is preventing me from cutting looses. What is it I
need to let go of.? I’ve been stripped down to the core, naked and
exposed..No secrets left to reveal...
My mind is getting invaded.: Images flashes into my mind. I am a
teenager again, in my present life, at the fairground. Spinning on
the walsers. I see his face, his blue eyes, his smile. My first crush, My
first love. Two shy awkward teenagers. Our one night together before
tragedy struck, and his life was to alter. I never saw him again. But he
is always in my dream. When he died I was sectioned. We slipped
into the darkness, the pit of the shit. We went to the bottom before
we reached the light. My body seems to go into a trance like state...
I am in another place, a different life. I see a young couple, about to
be dragged out of bed by two men, the image wasn’t clear. Is that me
or someone else.? Or someone who looks like me?! My
subconscious mind has now become on the edge of normal and para
normal. I am in a waking nightmare, I am confused .. Am I
experiencing a past life flashback or psychic attack?
There are people all around me pulling me, grabbing me. My wrists
are tied and ankles are shacked. People are marching, shouting,
chanting, screaming, voices from the distant echoing through the
silence of my living room walls .
At the front of the line the ia a male, he is wearing a mitre, he is
being carried on a sedan chair,. I look at the males who walk at his
side, one at each foot. It makes no sense, I recognise both their
faces from this life. My present.. I fell in love with the one on the left
hand side.Our short time together, the high speed train journey, the
lies, the deceit, For he told me lies, was I not worth the truth? Then
when we crashed, we both suffered the consequence of destruction.
I turned into ice, he turned to herion.
Why are they in my past?
Is it my past or some crazy head fuck ? A false image, a distorted
perception of a different life. Why are they there?
I struggle to stop my body shaking, as vivid images, memories,
visions, scenes, flash like snap shots entering in and out of my mind.
I am walking to my death..I am tied to a cross...
I see a male in the crowd, he is stood alone, with his hood pulled up, I
catch his gaze, he looks familiar, but I do not recognise him from
my present life. Who are you? I see another male with blonde
hair,drinking and laughing. Flames start to rise, past my ankles,
above my knees, rising higher. The crowd is singing and dancing.
I watch as my soul appears out of the flames and enter, straight into
the heart of the Sun. I disappear..
Days and nights had roll over., Now, I am left wondering...What the
frig happened there? Solitary, surrounded by the enemy.. Shape
shifters, beings, ghosts. I am stuck in a psychological romance with
a faint voice and a feuding war with another. A rejection from
heaven and a battle with hell. Which one do I need to remove.? Why
are we tied together?
My stomach makes disturbing growling noises.. What is going
on..my mixed up mind already trying to comprehend what things
mean, if they mean any thing at all.
I seem to have an unwanted attachments, I wonder if he or she or
they are poltergeists or souls, beings , I have considered the thought
of alien life or a human soul surfer. Who ever they are, where ever
they are from, they are called the unwanted guest. Body Invaders.
Quite a few use the name Grim, or they will use a family members
name or pretend to be a god or a angel.
Are they trying to fuck with my mind, so I never get confused I have
associated each voice with the name given to me by them. I have seen
some weird shit, that I cannot believe myself. but unlike my Grim
(who I am still not quite sure to who he is Faith and Trust.. Silence
is golden, but my eyes still see, the love and light once said to me).
All the other grim are just filthy pieces of shit, con men of the
spiritual world, a spiritual pest. dirty, smelly, perverted, the
underworld vile.
Questions run through my mind as I search to find logical answers.
Yet I cannot find logic in the unexplainable shit that happens. How
things unfold and come to light. Yet some things I think, I didn’t see
that coming. I constantly question my environment. The weirdness
that takes place around me. I pray under the sun, sat on earth, talking
to the ocean...I listen to the thunder, the wind and the rain. I sing to
the moon, much to my neighbours annoyance.
I am like a yo-yo, high - low, light - dark- bouncing on a spiritual
journey of different worlds, Captivated by the presence of the hidden
face. The one I have yet to meet, But then he could have stood out
side my window...I cannot make sense of what is happening to me.
Or why all those males invade my space, who all have the same first
name are appearing in my mind. Have I lived before?
I see heads everywhere,

Amy Maiden

'The Dying Gaul'

I am stuck in a triangle,caught in a trap. I have fallen in love with a underworld guy..A
fallen angel, The opposer, everything that I read about him tells me to stay away. Yet
something inside my heart, my soul, lures me deeper in wonder. I am curious, mystified,
intrigued. Yet at the same time I am confused to who he is...where is he from?
Who is who?
One has got brown eyes, one has got blue. Yet there are so many handsome faces I have
seen, who all use the same name. One has be careful of the cheeky chancer,
the conman, the theif and those who tell lies and come in deciet, when your in the soul
rescue game.
Both from the other side. A different dimension. I don’t want to be a wife of the living
dead but i am unable to get this male out of my head, or from under my skin..figuratively
not literally.
When the others jump on me and enter my flesh it disgusts me, the feeling of it slivering
through my body, running through my blood, makes me flip into a frenzied rage of curses
and magic..my mind goes into the dark space where souls are now being written out of
the book of life..
.
Our Paths have crossed on occasions, where I have been dragged down to the dark
streets of the underworld.
He never shows his face, he wears a dark hood, it used to be an old
cloak but over the past few years modern man must have had an impact on him, for last
time we collided , he had changed his clothing style, became a modern man, he was
wearing a hoody...He tells me that he his dead, he was murdered and that he is a pagan.
I am a Pagan, always have been always will...I am underworld,. He makes me laugh. He
always sits outside my house, when he visits. When I am in connected to my highest form,
my very own star, my essence, my higher self, fighting the enemy, he prefers to stay
outside the area. I can here his voice in the distance. It is his light that captures me. He
seems to shine in the dark pit. Where the rats run and the smell is vile... I call him
Grim..not because he is grim, but because it is fucking grim down there, down in the lower
vibrations of the underworld.
Where it is full of the wicked and evil, the place before the drop into the lowest level,
the level where there is no return. Hell.
I hear the words man on earth, and I wonder what it means.
My heads spins into a flurry of emotions... then I  remember the quite one, the one
who hardly speaks, who never swears...Who is who? I can hear the ultimatums Michael
or Grim..Grim I reply, My man in the moon. Not quite knowing who my Grim is but
knowing i do not like Michael or whoever arrived at my home one night claiming to be
Angel Michael.
The answers are in the bible, is the message I hear.
Who is who...are there two? Is there a third? Is one alive on Earth, with a telepathic link?
The thought of a living, breathing, human soul mate seems far more appealing than being
claimed by the unknown from another world.
I watch the book of Enoch on you tube, directed by Troy Smith. And then the book of job.
Everything is upside down and back to front.
I seem to be hypnotised, mesmerised even to the point of infatuated. He sings on my roof,
he is an enemy of Angle Michael. I wonder if it is Satan. I then wonder if Satan is also
Grim..
And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison.. King
James Version.
I am left feeling confused. Where in the bible does it say that Satan changed into a serpent?
Genesis just refers to a serpent. it was the Christians who made Satan the devil and god's adversary. in the old testament ha-Satan, the accuser, was one of god's servants...and also tells how he was the most hansom of Angels..

‘The dying Gaul’..

.Amy Maiden

Satans Bitch,,,

I feel grotty, grubby, unclean, after my visit from Hades and his entourage. A mixture of hell workers, hell raisers, the tormented, the wicked, the suicide or the lost soul. In a quest to save innocent life from being sucked into the pit of  darkness i constantly have one foot in the dark, my foot firlmy planted like giants roots into the core of hell.  My home seems filthy, the constant spiritual warfare that takes place has left my brain frazzled. I am left with the aftermath, even though the underworld have now left, timed out, the putrid smell still lingers around my house.

The midday sun is now shining brightly through my living room window, showing the
marks, the footprint of beings who were in my home.
I have prayed to every God and every angel to test and check who arrives, in my bid to escape the claws of what or who is holding me in the pit of the shit. I was alone. Trapped with the dark tormented souls who cause misery pain and hardship. I have met many entities, fake Gods and Angels who have arrived, claiming to be something they are not, who have all wanted something from me, sex ,marriage power of control. I have rules i insist on, and the rule is... do not touch me!
These words can sometimes fall on deaf ears.

A woman has to be careful who she allows into her home. I wouldn’t invite a stranger
into my home, ghosts, beings or souls are not a exception to the rule, they are still
strangers and should not be invited in, not without fully understanding the risk of what
can arrive nor should they be given immediate trust. The average ghost comes from the
lower vibrations and these dirty pests come in without an invite. Getting rid of the bottom
crawler can be a nightmare in its self.
I cannot understand why woman or men would want to participate in sexual activities
with the unknown, in astral projection or lucid dreaming. Maybe because i just do not trust.
To me it doesn’t seem right,
How do you know who they are, or where they have come from. There is a whole
universe out there, full of spiritual dimensions, different levels, different planes. The good
beings will respect my wishes, the bad ghosts pay no attention at all, whenever i insist i
don’t like something, the more they persist in doing it, just to annoy the shit out of me.
Balik, is here with me today, who i love with my heart and soul, then hate with the same
passion. I most defiantly have a love hate relationship with him. It was quite a strange
experience when i first saw his face, his head was covered in a Hijab. A piece of cloth
over his head. Oh you’re a muslim, were the first words that popped out of my mouth.
His head bowed as if in agreement. I don’t like the muslim faith, how will that work? i
smiled, will we get along?
What do you wear that on your head for,? i asked him. The heat, he replied. Oh right then,
was all i could manage to say. He calls me his Sun. I call him my angel. I am not a angel,
balik tells me, but i like being your angel, for you are the Sun, the star, the child. He can
be ruthlessly strict. He has been in my life since the day i was born. I grew up surrounded
by his presence. I had just never seen him, not until I was an adult. He is my guardian,
my father, or the father i have never had. First i was not allowed to be love and light for
I am a pagan. I fought, I won. I am love and light, but i am not sit back and take it. I will
condemn you. I give a person a few chance, i can only offer so much sympathy, i
understand about hardship but if a person doesn’t want to help themselves or change their
own situation, then i also will cease to care. I will fight for innocent souls for a chance to
redeem themselves. My choice i have been left with after my visit from hades, is do i
want a God as a father or soul mate. I laugh, I have become my own god in my world, the
girl of divinity!
I see a picture representing Jesus, his brown eyes, his long brown hair, his beard and ask,
who are you? where are you? He looks like Satan. Marcus Sanatanuis...i don’t know
why.i thought that, as I am unsure who Marcus is. Someone i have yet to meet in this
lifetime, yet i see him in my dreams, passed him on my travels through other worlds. I
call him sate.
I can feel energy touching me, penetrating into my shoulder. Get off me i don’t like it, i
complain. I carrying on complaining like a child. Then i flip into a frenzy, talk in tongues,
command and demand, although i have been taught never to command and demand, i
ignore that rule when it suits me. I feel to exhausted to clean, i am to tired to take a bath,
fighting the underworld is gruelling. I am surrounded by the enemy.
I catch a glimpse of Sate, a past memory, of a past life, his handsome face, his long hair,
his overgrown beard, I hear the haggle of voice in the distant background...Satans bitch...
I will never be his bitch, i snap only ever his wife!
This makes no sense to me, as i have never been married! And i could never love a evil
man.
My head spins...
I remember the words spoken down the lines, in a cockney London accent..I love her, I
will always love her. Cos she’s the sun...
Although i smile i could burst into tears..I want freedom..

Bleeding Flesh...

Knowing Balik was here last night, although i know he is never really far away. I reverted
back to becoming a child. That is it, I said... I've had enough... I’m done.Five deaths in the last few
weeks and although I wasn’t friends with, nor did I have any direct connection to with
those who have now departed, I have helped them through, passed on messages to those
still here. In a mixed up muddle of who...
I‘ve got a sore neck, pain under my right arm...both knees feel achy. stomach heavy,.A heavy burden.
You have been in my thoughts all weekend, I am not sure why, I was being polite..for the sake of others..I am
just the messenger that link us to the other side..
I am being pulled from the light into the dark..back and forth. I am not upset, but someone is...
Its not about you, its not about me, not right now anyway...the air is cold.
The flow of energy shifts at the different vibrations as it rises and sinks...The wind is roaring, the rain crashing
against my window.
I am happy in my life, so it must be coming from you, or maybe someone around you, who's part of your life.
I have been told i am a medium by some, a rescue worker by others, I’ve been classed and labelled as
being a nutter, people call me a witch...A misconception of who I am.
She is mad, How they called me names behind my back. They placed a curse on me...A moment of
madness or vicious attack.?
Is it to late to stop it, or will it reverse, you see one should never place a nasty curse, on another.
And what am I trying to do. Its not my intentions to upset you..You see all weekend, I’ve had different
messages coming through, For various people, Some I have given comfort, others might be puzzled,
confused. Yet they know in my heart, my intentions are true..
The wind sounds like waves crashing against my window,
Questions racing threw my mind. Have I done the right thing, Have I sent the letter to the right person, got
the message right? It was all a little bit muddled, my mind is still confused! What if they don’t want to hear
a message, then again, what if they do.
Have i not done everything that you have asked me to do, passed on the messages that come through
being woken up to get a message out, created concerns from my family, been shouted at, old lady with a
walking stick.. Who are you?
I get worried i might upset people. I don not want to hurt anyone with jumbled words or make it worse for
them.
The energy level reduces, activity seems a little calmer, less frantic, ,,Spiritual beings all around. holding
hands with loved ones, to travel the journey to the other side..
I had experienced all kinds of bizzare symptoms, had flash memories that did not belong
to me.
Feeling safe in my surrounding, knowing Hades has left, I ditched the cleaning and I went
to bed. I slept all night for the first time in weeks. If you could call waking up at the break
of dawn all night. My dreams bounced around through different worlds, in a different
time.
I was ordering food in a cafe, yet there was no kitchen area that I could see, I saw an old
acquaintance, a friend of a friend, who was with another young woman approach the door.
I could hear them talking about their day in college. I went over to them, to say hello. She
did not see me, neither of them did. I spoke louder but they carried on with their
conversation oblivious to my presence. My skin started to bleed, i am being cut, deep cuts
were appearing all over my body, an invisable knife peircing at my flesh, over and over. Blood dripping
down my body into nothingness.
I am being attacked.



Amy Maiden

Talking with the devil...

I am the Sun... I am love and light...
So therefore, i am the Moon, the Earth, the Land and the Sea.
I am a pagan. the universal child, that is me. I am a mother, I am not a sinner nor a saint. I drink black coffee and patiently wait, for your arrival.
When the portal opens and the light shines through, it’s only a matter of time before you come to.

I had met the devil in the underworld one night. I jumped in to rescue a child. I had gone to sleep and when i woke, i spotted a gold name plate on my living room floor.  Emily. I saw her face, i could hear her tears, in every waking moment, she consumed my dreams. I’m coming to find you, i wont let you go. I reassured her. I got dragged into darkness with the lowest of the low. I searched everywhere, I ,along with my highest guides, we jumped in the underworld night after night, until i found her, her little body torn and bruised. I pulled her into my arms. Then all of a sudden a light appeared, her little face looked at me..The angles are here, you are safe now. I kissed her gently, her face lit up as she crossed into the light. I saw the look of love as she smiled goodbye. I started to cry. First i was over joyed that i had found her. Then the anger come. It flooded over me like an raging ocean. I screamed so loud, that the neighbours complained.

How many more are trapped in the dark?. The thought of this pulled on my heart.
They belong to the light, not in hell.
The devil followed me home that night, a war began with the dirty underworld, my battle with hell. So i have come to know the demons well. They care nothing for religion or the colour of your skin, wither you are rich or poor, woman or man.

My pending meeting with the devil, will it be Lucifer or Hades...I have my argument prepared. I know the words to say.
As you arrive from the underworld, the temperature drops, there is a cold chill in the air. You have come to claim possession of a soul.
Who goes to heaven? Who goes to hell? Who goes into rebirth, to have chance of life again?

Hades arrives, one the underworld leaders, he will try and tempt you, offer you riches, diamonds and pearls, you have to be strong, if you want to resist the clutches of this man. His entourage shadow him, they want you on their team. They will bully you, they will not leave you alone, they will taunt you, invade your dreams, invade your home. If they want you, they will get into your head, make your life a misery, fill you with depression, fear and blame, they will suggest suicide. Do not give in, have nothing to fear, they will play upon your guilt, if you have anything to be guilty of and even if you haven’t, they will get inside you, rip you apart, in an attempt to suck you into the dark. They want your soul but cannot claim it, not without your permission anyway. You have to stay strong, know that love will never leave you alone.

Tonight it is Hades he is wearing a white hat, a white suit, pristine. Look at you dressed in white,  are you trying to look like an angel? I say with a smile. Have you become love and light?
Fuck off , is his reply. He smiles
We talk for hours, we debate..
I wonder if he is a demon or an angel in disguise. Undercover. He leaves as morning light approaches, he gives me a wink and tells me to stay in the light...but then again he could never get me to stray
x

a love not meant to be...

Love not meant to be

She thought about him all the time,His alluring eyes, his beautiful smile 

That lit up his face ...handsome was he, She thought about the possibilities, 

that could have been..But was not meant to be..

How their lives had changed in the years spent apart

Yet she still loved him, deep down in her heart,

She always would, 

Yet she knew that it was not meant to be..

 Their love was lustful, young, full of desire..

The passionate love making,the burning fire. 

Yet their love was not meant to be.

The lies, the anger. the tears... It took her many years to see ...

Their love was never meant to be

She cried at night withdrew from life

Gave up on love...

Her heartbreak turned her flame into ice,

She became cruel in love, bitter 

Lost in an illusion...that love was meant only for the foolish..

For her love was not meant to be..

Her childhood dreams, where had they gone

Her life was empty ...lonely ... As time passed on

She struggled with her demons, fought with the devil at times

As She Yearned for love to return back into her life..

Only then could she melt her ice.. 

And return the laughter back in her eyes, the smile upon her face.

He then appeared back into her life

Still as hansom with alluring eyes, he filled her heart with warmth and delight..

But Somewhere over the course of the years 

when she let go of the anger, had run out of tears

Something changed...A transformation ..She had let him go ...let him go free

Sometimes love is just not meant to be

And with it released herself from her very own hell

She is no longer trapped in a prison or trapped in cell

No longer Bitter in love, she embraces it now

For she learnt how to love, she learnt from the pain

She knows their love will never be the same.

As it was many years before... A love that is not meant tt be.

The Man in the Moon

Someones coming through, He winks at me, flashes a smile, his blue eyes sparkle he is stood in the light, he still walks with a limp, whilst singing his song...'.What do you want' i ask with a grin.
I hear the doors .Love me two times baby..Love me twice today..'Arhh you've stopped sulliking' i laugh at him. He always leaves when you come back in my life. He wonders around, his hair is long, his beard overgrown, his head looking down , he meets my gaze, .his smile fades, he carrys on singing, but a diffrent tune..'don't ya make my brown eyes blue....' 'his eyes are brown, your eyes are blue' i state, confused. He smiles...
Caught in a triangle! 'oh not me, spider web and it's me in the middle'..he is singing in riddles...he talks back to front...
Your the connection, you are the link....
Keep your thought positive.let go of the guilt, The moon is Full tonight..
Stay with me, Stay in the light...

heart emoticon.

The Moon, brightly lit, keeping me transfixed in thought. My prince in times of darkness, my guide towards the light. The Sun by day The Moon by night.
My man in the moon is here, One of my most highest guide, Star crossed lovers, that sounds alright..from another life, another world. I see a young girl in a picture, a group of three, ,don't listen to the rumours!' comes to me, A couple, sometimes its been tough, you stayed with your heart, he is your soul mate, you have that special love..Telepathic links, to the outside world..
My house feesl like it's moving with high energy viibrations, a gentle rock, a breeze on my skin, a feeling of love.. absorbing the light, the energy, getting high on the spirit of life, wanting to throw it everywhere...here have some love and light, don't let fear get on your couch tonight.
'And what i have done to deserve a vist from you?', i say cheekily as he enters the room, If i could smile a thousand smiles at once, i would be doing it right now 'Happy Imbolic' ....'Thank you', i reply .'I was in bed, it's the middle of the night', Birds are chirping outside my window, the moon light shining through.

..whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:24 - Belief - Faith - Bible Quotes
heart emoticon

28:01:2014

28:01:2014

I did not sleep a wink last night. The electrical currents running through my house forced me to sit in candle light whilst the unknown, the others floated past, coming in through closed windows making me aware of their presence. Another lamp has bit the dust, bulb blowing in a little frenzied spark just to let me know I have visitors. 'I wonder what they want tonight' I sighed, as I spot the silvery shadow glint in the night, and which realm of afterlife are they going to be from hoping the hell raisers haven't returned already for another nights battle

Still fully remembering the incidents from only the night before. My mind was eased, where ever this lot are from, although they have let me know they are here, they seem to have not come in harm. Well no harm to me anyway. I am in no mood to want to talk to strangers and ghosts who tell lies. 'I am too exhausted' I snap ' I have had no sleep'

Two nights now and still no sleep! I just cannot sleep!.

Although they did not appear to come in harm something inside would not let me relax. I could not chill I sat in meditation trying to erase the voices in my head. I can hear conversations that have taken place or are about to take place. people visions scenery. I feel strung out, wired as if I have been on class A's looking like a scruffy junkie, with a wide eyed glare. The silence around provide a calming relaxed atmosphere to slow down my dizzy brain activity. I now need a bath to cleanse and clean

I put some clean white pj's on and chill on the couch, I shall never forgive them i think, for if it would be that to forgive releases them of their sins I will never forgive them. They have not just committed sins they have committed crimes., crimes of violation, mind rape, rape both on myself and against humanity, Earth. My insides feel sore, by bones ache. They just will not stop. 'get off me' I scream at them, they do not stop, instead with a poisonous hiss they reply ,make us stop' when they touch, it feels like something under my skin, worms in my stomach. I asked the doctor what was the possibility I could have worms, 'I feel like I am being eaten, sucked from inside' I explained, his face just smiled and he looked at me as to say... yes crackpot full psychosis , yet kind in his reply stated 'no possibility at all' I am seriously under weight yet I eat well or at least I try on the more calmer days of battling with the darker side of death.

I fall asleep.

I wake up cold' the day has changed into night. The presence is mild, I am tired, I want to go to bed I feel tied to the sofa, so I have brought blankets from upstairs. The weather is bitterly cold the wind is calm...I am still in shock over the past two night battle with the underworld, yet things are slowly getting better.

The night seem calmer I scan around my living room, check out the damage the living dead caused. My TV has suddenly gone on the blink, and two lamps blew the bulb and conked out. If my stalker was alive, in human form he would be locked up, I would be safe, but  he is from the other side. Is it real or am I mad? I can feel the physical pain, I look in the mirror and I can see the scratches on my face as I was scuffling with the unknown, the nameless, faceless voice who could be anyone from anywhere who invades my life.

I speak to Grim he is my Jesus, my man in the moon and say, I have spoken to Buddha within, and if If it would be ok, i will pray for help and ask you to support me in that I show them no forgiveness for their crimes. I do not think I could allow them to hurt anyone else, ever! I need to find a way to stop them, shut them down do what it states in the bible and give them eternal damnation. That putting me on a much happier note, I wonder if I should try and do a little tai chi to relax.

I cannot relax, for as much as I am attacked by Christianity for stating the word Jesus came from the French. The jesult millitant, je suis which means I am. I still have faith that there would be someone out there that represents the meaning. It was not a mans name initially, but a French word, as back in the year 900bc France and Spain joined forces with turkey and The Frankish was formed which later changed in to the jusult militant movement, which was finally banned. But I speak to Grim, I need his help. I do not feel bitter or revengefully twisted, i am not consumed with misery and regret, that's why I am unable to forgive, I just do not want to forgive I want to put them through punishment, for is it not said that those who brave the dark find the light? I imagine that those who are just too dirty for the light could then possibly get trapped in the dark forever. I need to find a way to release the innocent who are trapped, and trap the guilty in total darkness. Lights out, game over good night god bless, kind of dream :-)

For I am the sun.. je suis :-)

Am I mad available Amazon

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Am-I-Mad-Amy-Maiden-ebook/dp/B008G0PI6W/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1390748106&sr=1-1&keywords=am+i+mad?+amy+maiden

Psychotic Fantasy... Am I mad? by Amy Maiden

Psychotic Fantasy!! 

I do not close my eyes yet I am in a fantasy.. 

I have seen him before, seen him in my dreams, 

I hear his voice but he does not speak, not today anyway. 

I wonder if he is real

Or made up in my mind. 

My journey for my soul mate, shall I ever find

I am not sure if I am dreaming, I seem so wide awake, 

is it love I feel or infatuation?

The image, the picture I have, of who he is to me, 

is he my soul mate I see, in my wide awake dream? 

Sitting in the summer sun,, 

not a cloud in the sky, nor a picture in the clouds 

where do I go from here...How? 

I seemed to have skidded backwards, although I am far better than I realise, 

my dreams will they become reality in my mixed up crazy mentality of what is real? 

What is not! 

Is something about to happen? 

To change? 

My dream, had I forgot, 

That the road goes downhill before I can reach the top. 

In a room of crowded people it does not matter who I am, 

I could be in a room alone. 

I wish to meet my soul mate, the one from my dreams, 

in my wide awake fantasy 

Am I mad? Or is this real? 

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What does it mean

400 Roman Catholic Priests sacked from Vatican in 2012-2013

What does it mean?

Again i raise the question is Jesus a Pagan? I feel like i need to clear what the word Pagan means. Pagan derives from the Latin Paganus meaning country man, poor man, poorper... was Jesus a poor man? There has been a debate after my blog... is Jesus a pagan?  Still we do not agree on the actual religion that our spiritual man of God belongs to, some say he was a Christian and then others say he was defiantly a Jew. One person claimed he was a Jew as he was born to a Jewish mother Mary. Now i did laugh at this comment not to demise the person stating her beliefs...but it must be true if his mother was called Mary!  Mary...Mmm... let me say a few things about Mary; the way the story gets told to children, when as children we all get to take part in the nativity play the big Christmas spectacular that gets all little kids involved in the history of Christianity (or so they say!)...was is not that Mary was a poor country girl who travelled far with a Sheppard and a donkey to reach Jerusalem? She was guided by the star and gave birth to her child our messiah in a barn? So my question is... Did she give birth in a barn because she did not have enough money to get a room? The fact she did not have enough money to get a room – did this mean Mary was poor, a poor country girl? you know where i am getting to in this on, do you agree?
I am telling all that i am not a ex christian or a ex anything and to automatically indentify  a paganin  being a witch is somewhat a bit interesting as the word witch mean knowledgeable and wise. I at my young age of 39 would not even begin to big myself up with saying i have knowledge and wisdom to be able to class myself as a witch unless of course witch meant W=woman I=in T=total C=control H=herself, then i would say yes i am a witch.  Although any woman or man that buys of few candles can call themselves a witch.  i would class myself as  a spiritual pagan because i am poor, skint J a happy and content  skint member ha-ha. I have travelled to monasteries and churches all over Europe and Turkey, i love history and churches, any old historic building really, i have a real fascination for religion i ask lots of questions in my search but it is all so full of contradiction, i am not stating i have all the answers, the questions i ask are what i have asked myself searching for my own faith. what i still ask now i am asking the world!

In the Catholic faith, they are against taking contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancies now i had two kids, had them both early in my life, now they are grown up happy and healthy they have not been Christened and have free will – freedom of choice to decide for themselves what faith what path they each walk down to be true to themselves true to their soul. I certainly with having a son and a daughter do not want anymore children, so every morning i pop a contraception pill in my gob, if i was Catholic i would be committing a sin. Errm i don’t care, i do not want any unwanted pregnancies, i will gladly commit that sin! Who the frig sticks to that bullshit rule anyway? Then we have got Christianity and the Ten Commandments... what is all that about? It is not just one command but 10, why not make it twenty? No sex before marriage...Why? I have never been married that is my free will, am i to put a big metal chastity belt on and become a nun? I do not think so ha-ha. It is a sin to masturbate... i command you never to touch you own body! What a load of shit, how can it be a sin to touch your own body? That is defiantly fucked up... that sort of weirdness can cause people to be left feeling guilt ridden and a sinner when it is perfectly natural to touch your own body. So do people really follow their chosen religion? Do they sick to the Ten Commandments or do they skip a few? I live by three rules...good thought...good deed...good speech. Now i curse/ swear but how you look at that is up to you, the way you view things; you could think it is offensive or you could think like me...fuck off-no way-you have got to be kidding! Words are words it is up to you how you interpret. If you fail to stick to all ten commandments you are committing a sin... why give yourself the stress of feeling guilt ridden you only have to stick with three rule let the rest go. problem solved live in the love. Does every Christian woman retain from having sex before marriage... i very much doubt it, but if you follow that commandment because it suits your beliefs then good for you and what if that commandment doesn’t quite work in your life, what do you do?...do you dump that commandment because it is a shit rule? then you are going against you faith and to go against your faith you would be committing treachery. What a load of bollox!

questions and more questions!

So the question is still unsolved – is Jesus Pagan?

Love and light

Amy x

Spiritual vs Religion

Religion causes war, each religion thinks that their God is superior...why is that?
I have written a book... Am I Mad?
One woman’s journey searching to find her faith. I have looked into religion with an open mind as i have never been christened and was searching for something i felt was missing from inside me.
I have tried to make my book humours and aimed at woman of all generations; I am making a spiritual stand pushing a little towards anti Christianity but i have nothing against Christians or people who have chosen other Faiths as individual people, i am looking to question why are people stuck with a labelled religion?
If you had the choice to pick your own faith, would it be the one that was chosen for you as a child, a newborn?  
Do you follow the rules of your religion?
Do you believe as i do religion is forced upon us to conform to the rules? Are woman being second classed around the world with man made religion that suits the needs of men?
If Romans forced Christianity, why is it that today we still do not question these outdated beliefs,  we just carry on stroll along in life in religion that has been put on a child and the choice was taken away and put blinkers on to what religion really is.... bullshit J
My book is a faction book...  i would like the book to appeal to all woman of all cultures and religions, woman are equal. Children are being forced in to marriage to perform sexual acts some as young as nine... this needs to stop... and it is all in the name of religion.
I was inspired to write a book questioning religion, after i saw very brief footage (i was unable to watch) of a young Muslim woman being stoned to death, for having/made love to her young boyfriend, the young man videoed this and put onto the net as where i stumbled across it. This sickened me. I then started reading about different religions. A year ago i went to a lady who gave me a angle reading, I prayed for love. I had only a few night before sat in my bullshit world reading about another Muslim woman who was in prison for the allegations of committing adultery. It was then i asked the universe to help me write a book, my angle cards came out...Angle of Faith...Angle of creative writing and patience. Well I will not be praying quite so intensely again J Am I mad?



I hope this gives more information on what i am trying to achieve...Freedom of choice...Free will



I won’t keep rambling on

Enjoy your day

Amy Maiden



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Visual Effects

Psychosis visual effects!!

As I lounge around. I see the small dark figure dart across the front room. On the table, the candle flame flickers up and down, the electrical energy whizzing high. 'Who is here and what do you want' I ask...the energy starts to chill, the atmosphere almost darkens in gloom.

The air is heavy, silent with the only noise coming from the gushing wind and the faint distant kitchen radio.. who is in my house and what do the want?
I feel a sensation of a sting, a cord round my throat, the attachment from the unknown source that penetrates my front room. A feeling of pins and needles in my feet I hear..my name, only once.
Arhh.. the usual visitor...
My worst nightmare or my dream come true. I want to put his already dead lights out :-) can I find a way?.. to kill the already dead who turn up unannounced not always welcomed and in malice.
I cannot be bothered having a battle with any hell raisers tonight.
The underworld are at my door with their evilness that flows like wine in a alkies. I call them dogshit, they are dogshit. These unknown souls spirits beings or ghosts are black they make my home dirty so a quick smile followed by 'what the frig do you want?' to now knowing I shall be spending the entire night talking fighting and laughing with the unknown dropping in for their own entertainment..the lowlife level of the dogshit. 'here you arrive with the grand total intelligence level of a chocolate peanut m and m and peanuts do not have brains'.i say smugly to their leader. So tonight,t I question am I slipping into psychosis, or am I being visited by a soul from the other side.

29:01

The time is 3.56am. I wonder what has happened. Even now I look at the carnage caused by the constant battles and I think WTF! What the fuck has happened! :-) Where are all the nice loyal caring ghost, spirits, beings? I am surrounded by the lowest of the low, the thickest of thick, the meanest of the mean, the dirtiest next to black that smell of dogshit. What on Earth is going on!?. I wonder if they are from an other galaxy, far from here, who do not know how to wash or that soap exists, they need some kind of connection train in to my property on to earth, either that or they just like to throw litter round my home to let me know they are here and too annoy the shit out of me. I notice things go on around the room. I am drug and alcohol free, ordained by the light. So I defiantly aint tripping here!, I rarely drink alcohol so I know I am not pissed . Strange things happen, next door blame me for the noise but I hear it too, the bangs the bumps. Sat here on my own I think WTF! I turn around to see a shadow, a dark stiletto figure dashing towards the door.

I see faces all around, human faces of mixed variety both in male and female form. A few put on what I call horror faces, bones with half de composed flesh ' what you looking like that for' I snap at them 'you did not look like that when you dropped dead'' I can be harsh with them, sometimes having to tell a soul that he or she is in fact dead and needs to let go of what's holding them from moving on and evolving to a being, usually suicide or murder victims, innocent young men and woman that have not found an escape with suicide or trapped in pain unable to let go of there loved ones. 'We are spirits they claim' ' no you are souls who have not evolved into beings, we are all human beings, we experience life as human then our souls form as beings' our spirit is our essence of ourselves, we are all human beings in different forms. I wonder if Life is a test. God tests to see where you go next in your life path, if your good in life good stuff will follow if you been rotten that is what you get. We all reap what we sow.

These dark souls that surround me taunt me into trying to get me to commit suicide. They taunt and inflict injury 'no way' I tell them 'never, I want rid of you before I wake up dead' I hate them now I could not imagine having to put up with the low level dogshit behaviour for ever... for ever and ever!!! no way I just couldn't cope. Not a prayer, not a chance. I am staying alive.
I settle down on the sofa, wrap the blankets around me, curl into ball and close my eyes.

I dream about the afternoon Michael  arrived and announced himself as my father with a lanky teenager behind him, Grim. Grim was jumping over my head smiling like some kind of lunatic his blonde hair shining in the afternoon sun. Grim seemed familiar, I wonder if I knew him in life? Which life! This life? I became love struck, curious and intrigued in this ghost, soul being or possible aliens, jumping round my living room, he cursed me.. 'I curse you, that you shall love me forever' he said with smile... I wonder who grim really is! I also wonder who Michael is. I have no father, birth certificate is left blank on fathers details.. Who is Michael the half cast black male with the pristine white suit and white hat, claiming to be from a place called utopia and who is grim, a white male dressed like slim shady in a scruffy tracksuit along side him.
More Grims arrive at my home, souls from the underworld. Dirty smelly... I am confused which grim is which ' is Grim a state of mind I wonder,'you are all called grim?' I question them, 'no this is our grim reaper' they whine at me ' we want to kill your grim'. Who is my Grim? I wonder

Michael wanted to see me blind, claim my soul, rape my mind'
send me spiritually down the drain..
Saturn said he would wait for a more natural death,
so they messed with my car breaks instead...
Grim said he would torture me daily if I did not comply
take my own life, commit suicide..
he then claimed me as his wife, sold me to the underworld, whored me out..
I do not want to die. I cried to my god
I want to live in light and love..

I will not die... and grim I want a divorce!

It would be easier for me to obtain a divorce if I knew whom I was married to, the fact I have never been married does not seem to interest my unknown husband. He states I am his wife, and that is that. No woman should be subjected to arrange marriages without her consent full consent. I hate the fact I might be been obtained by a male or a male who is trying to claim me and I find him unattractive and sexually repulsive.. yuk! On second thoughts he could be hansom but a complete arsehole. No I never want to be claimed as  wife. It should be illegal world wide.

Zero tolerance on terrorists, paedophiles, sex traffic groups, rapist or those who force marriage, its classed as rape, is how Earth would be if I was god I think to myself.
Have I got a grim?, I myself go grim, in my daily surroundings all bullshit bollocks and lies. I am surrounded by lairs who will give any name if they think it would passify a person into believing them
I am surround by and judging the dead. I listen to their life problems I understand I do not care, I talk to them yet they are not my friend. I call them my pretend friends, unwelcome d visitors in my home. Who's life on earth was tough, they have become dogshit in the nasty realm called the underworld, if they do not care for themselves or others welfare, I do not care for them..
Who are they? What do they want? And where are they from?

Psychosis or Spiritual invasion

Psychosis or spiritual invasion?

As my life turns from upside down semi okish to crumbling apart, to back on track and up and down spiral of emotions I look at my hand scrawled manuscript that took me in to the dark side of spirituality and questioned who is who, I prayed to all angles, all gods, to see who came arrived at my home. Am I highly astute or am I suffering from translucent psychosis and wonder if I am mad..mental...i can see things no one else can!! ghosts beings floating past my head the under voices of them whispering chattering or shouting in the background.. are these things real? My nights and days roll over, days slip into nights back into days time has no concept I wonder what day is it? who am I? and why can I see, see those others floating past, causing electrical disturbances visual effects and real pain. I shouted out it is not real until you feel pain for pain is real. When I am under attack from the deity entie ghost spirit or being I feel the pain they inflict which tells my logic human brain screams inside.. I can feel that physically feel pain so it's real. I am classed as a nutter, desirability less than 25% due to the fact and i am not ashamed to say, I was sectioned under the mental health act so now I am viewed a crackpot, nut head, people all wittering behind my back 'she talks to herself her' as they turn their gaze. I am looked down upon from neighbours who hear me scream and fight with the spiritual underworld, I wonder what normal is, I have nightmares of past life experiences, arguments with the unknown and crazy antic that go on in my surroundings. Electrical faults and high activity am I mad or have I been under a spiritual attack from the forces from the dark side. Feeling the cold energy surround my room when the unkown enters. The chill in the air, my desperation to remove the dark spirit in an attempt to reclaim my life remove them from my head, or fix what ever damage I have that's causing me to see the unknown force that surrounds me, terrifying me, taking what's mine including my privacy I am always being watch...

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31;01;12

31:01:12

I wake up, its daylight and I am still alive... 'oh thank you God!' I say out loud, never sure from one day to the next of how I will wake up, dead or alive!!. It is freezing today, I check the weather out the window, big blobs of snowy sleet are falling from the sky. I go downstairs, the cold hitting me violently, my feet starting to freeze on the lino flooring. I flick the kettle on for my morning brew and switch the heating on. The heating fires up, then slowly starts to shut itself back down. Great! I have run out of gas. The good thing about a prepayment meter is you do not have a massive bill the down side is moments like this. I have just got out of bed it is freezing cold and I have run out of gas. so I now must venture outside, face the snow and get gas credit for the pound munching machine. I throw some jeans on over my pj's put my coat and hat on and make a mad dash to the shop, without brushing my teeth or my hair The shop was quite, so I was in and out in speed. Who cares if I look half human let the gossips gossip! It is early morning, I want some heat and a brew :-)

The energy of my environment this morning seems a little more pleasant from the past few days happenings. Plus the extra bonus I am still alive...'ha ha ha ha staying alive' I sing to the projected faces all around me. I can vaguely make out the voices the chats in the background. I do not want to listen out to much just in case I hear them, the male and female voice that have been attached to me for a number of years.. sometimes I get the feeling the woman is a man, the man a woman, back to front but that's the aura I feel from my attached two, not the sounds I hear that make me come to the conclusion they pretend to be someone else.

30:01:2014

Today has been weird, strange. After half an attempt to sleep on the sofa after my past two nights of misery, in conflict with the underworld. I went to bed. I slept till past lunch, yet I woke weary, shattered and still worn out. my voice box croaking from shouting at the after life. I don't think I shall even bother to get dressed or attempt to do anything other than listen I thought as I put the kettle on for my morning brew to wash down my morning medication! It hurts me, the fact I am on medication as to me it is real but to a psychiatrist I am a total crackpot there is no after life invading me, and the underworld does not exist...according to my doctor. I pop the pill in my mouth wondering, hoping, that this morning it will just shut it off, stop it..cure me...remove the underworld and the ghosts it brings to my home.

The day is drizzly outside, the same feeling as my mood, I know I am being watched, constantly watched. I have taken to becoming like a nun refusing to have sex as I will not be the ghost beings porn star...all gossip in the underworld out..'''wank time she is having sex!' they would all pass the knowledge around my privacy zero! 'just because sex is not a sin, does not mean you can watch you fucking perverts' I scream at my unwelcome visitor.. 'I am not the virgin Mary' I continue 'fuck off else where underworld dogshit perverts'. So in my newly formed nun like status, I prayed to god... do not make me a nun, what has happened, what went wrong? I am living a nun like existence, something has to change .

I wonder where he is, what he is up to, chatting away in his cheeky cockney slang London accent. When I hear his voice the house in usually in full battle mode, I wonder what I am clinging on to? Is the nameless voice someone I know? I wonder A childhood friend here from the other side.

I potter around cleaning, connections look like cobwebs from visitors who arrive from the darker realms, they need an attachment to stay, my home is clean, I have become obsessed in hygiene, keeping myself clean, keeping my home clean, total OCD! I shudder to think what the attic is like, I never, ever go up in it. The loft insulation cannot be walked on so I really have no need to go I tell myself .

I am sat alone or am I? I can feel a sensation brush past me and the indentation of a human form sitting in the chair across the room, as if an invisible man has just plonked his arse down. I wonder who it is.. I say out load ; 'who is it really, and do not tell lies?' for the underworld is packed with sinners and criminals, no one tells the truth and everyone is always someone else.

I feel the skin crawling sensation as if someone wants to get under my skin, its getting weaker more bearable now. I have shouted witchcraft at them in a foreign language that I totally understand. I pointed out my new found language skills to my mental nurse. 'I woke up this morning' I told her ' and I can speak a foreign language, has that been known before?' she replied 'only in people who are ill' so with that in mind I chucked back the witchcraft, the venom and the lies right into their being in a bid to remove the one who clings to me dragging me down to hell.

I refuse to make a deal with any of the unknown, because they really are unknown. they conceal their true identities. 'I do not play cards and I do not make deals' I tell the leader who calls himself hades.

What goes on in my daily life is shocking funny painful and just WTF!!

Am I clinging on to someone, something for the right reasons I ask myself or keeping myself trapped in the underworld with the unwanted socialising among the hell raisers, who invade my home. I fight them I will not give in and yet I am still demand to called be love and light, for I am love and light. I hate evil, the dogshit form of human society who must have malfunctioned at birth! I do not lie to them I call then dogshit, their evil I am cruel with a twist to anything that comes in harm their souls are black their presence stinks.

I love to love all that come in love

I love to be mean to all who come in harm

I love to torture evil

I wonder again why they all want to claim me as either a wife or child ' I have no father and I have never been married' I tell the faceless unknown who is trying to claim, my pretend father lets say and I have not had a wedding I state to my also unknown husband.. no wedding no marriage..have that!!

The house is in silence yet I can hear whistling from the kitchen, I class myself as a pooper scooper cleaning up the dogshit to protect the love and light and call upon my own spirit of past lives to help me protect me and become one.. the bird, the beast, the being joining my human form of man ready to tackle whatever happening go on in my home tonight. As one....just me, myself, I..

I refuse to be claimed as a child or a wife, I shall choose my gods who I pray to and it ain't you' I tell the unknown.' for he/she who tries to claim my life with be destroyed by the power of god' I carry on stating with a more sarcastic, arrogant tone in my voice. 'Great another night mingling with the dogshit from lower dirt city'.

The radio comes on, the channel changes, I hear a bang upstairs I smile I do believe someone is here... I wonder who is here... which side have they come from although I am rarely invaded by those of the light so who is the dark shadow that shots across my living room. More to the point who turned the fucking radio on!! :-/

The radio lyrics blast from the kitchen..., I wanna stop and thank ya baby, how sweet it is to be loved by you!

I wonder if someone is playing head games here! I hear a gruff faded distant yet near voice...a male voice mutters my name.

I see a face project on my living room floor, a big fat cheeky face with a huge smile. The atmospheric energy is rising, as the frequency starts to rise I shake and drop crumbs from my chocolate muffing all over my white dressing gown, I start to see little faces of beings pop up everywhere. Am I imagining this? Ghosts are difficult to describe, you cannot always see them but sense them, it takes a lot of energy for a ghost to appear in past form. They look like a projected hologram perfectly formed with out the human solid form, more lighter less dence, if that explained a little how they appear to me.

They call me the devil's child ' but I am not a Catholic, and is it the pope who ordered the murder of millions of pagans,  really the devil. Pope Gregory was an evil man and devil spelt backwards is lived, so did the devil live? He was once just an evil man?' I reply to that insult.