31;01;12

31:01:12

I wake up, its daylight and I am still alive... 'oh thank you God!' I say out loud, never sure from one day to the next of how I will wake up, dead or alive!!. It is freezing today, I check the weather out the window, big blobs of snowy sleet are falling from the sky. I go downstairs, the cold hitting me violently, my feet starting to freeze on the lino flooring. I flick the kettle on for my morning brew and switch the heating on. The heating fires up, then slowly starts to shut itself back down. Great! I have run out of gas. The good thing about a prepayment meter is you do not have a massive bill the down side is moments like this. I have just got out of bed it is freezing cold and I have run out of gas. so I now must venture outside, face the snow and get gas credit for the pound munching machine. I throw some jeans on over my pj's put my coat and hat on and make a mad dash to the shop, without brushing my teeth or my hair The shop was quite, so I was in and out in speed. Who cares if I look half human let the gossips gossip! It is early morning, I want some heat and a brew :-)

The energy of my environment this morning seems a little more pleasant from the past few days happenings. Plus the extra bonus I am still alive...'ha ha ha ha staying alive' I sing to the projected faces all around me. I can vaguely make out the voices the chats in the background. I do not want to listen out to much just in case I hear them, the male and female voice that have been attached to me for a number of years.. sometimes I get the feeling the woman is a man, the man a woman, back to front but that's the aura I feel from my attached two, not the sounds I hear that make me come to the conclusion they pretend to be someone else.

30:01:2014

Today has been weird, strange. After half an attempt to sleep on the sofa after my past two nights of misery, in conflict with the underworld. I went to bed. I slept till past lunch, yet I woke weary, shattered and still worn out. my voice box croaking from shouting at the after life. I don't think I shall even bother to get dressed or attempt to do anything other than listen I thought as I put the kettle on for my morning brew to wash down my morning medication! It hurts me, the fact I am on medication as to me it is real but to a psychiatrist I am a total crackpot there is no after life invading me, and the underworld does not exist...according to my doctor. I pop the pill in my mouth wondering, hoping, that this morning it will just shut it off, stop it..cure me...remove the underworld and the ghosts it brings to my home.

The day is drizzly outside, the same feeling as my mood, I know I am being watched, constantly watched. I have taken to becoming like a nun refusing to have sex as I will not be the ghost beings porn star...all gossip in the underworld out..'''wank time she is having sex!' they would all pass the knowledge around my privacy zero! 'just because sex is not a sin, does not mean you can watch you fucking perverts' I scream at my unwelcome visitor.. 'I am not the virgin Mary' I continue 'fuck off else where underworld dogshit perverts'. So in my newly formed nun like status, I prayed to god... do not make me a nun, what has happened, what went wrong? I am living a nun like existence, something has to change .

I wonder where he is, what he is up to, chatting away in his cheeky cockney slang London accent. When I hear his voice the house in usually in full battle mode, I wonder what I am clinging on to? Is the nameless voice someone I know? I wonder A childhood friend here from the other side.

I potter around cleaning, connections look like cobwebs from visitors who arrive from the darker realms, they need an attachment to stay, my home is clean, I have become obsessed in hygiene, keeping myself clean, keeping my home clean, total OCD! I shudder to think what the attic is like, I never, ever go up in it. The loft insulation cannot be walked on so I really have no need to go I tell myself .

I am sat alone or am I? I can feel a sensation brush past me and the indentation of a human form sitting in the chair across the room, as if an invisible man has just plonked his arse down. I wonder who it is.. I say out load ; 'who is it really, and do not tell lies?' for the underworld is packed with sinners and criminals, no one tells the truth and everyone is always someone else.

I feel the skin crawling sensation as if someone wants to get under my skin, its getting weaker more bearable now. I have shouted witchcraft at them in a foreign language that I totally understand. I pointed out my new found language skills to my mental nurse. 'I woke up this morning' I told her ' and I can speak a foreign language, has that been known before?' she replied 'only in people who are ill' so with that in mind I chucked back the witchcraft, the venom and the lies right into their being in a bid to remove the one who clings to me dragging me down to hell.

I refuse to make a deal with any of the unknown, because they really are unknown. they conceal their true identities. 'I do not play cards and I do not make deals' I tell the leader who calls himself hades.

What goes on in my daily life is shocking funny painful and just WTF!!

Am I clinging on to someone, something for the right reasons I ask myself or keeping myself trapped in the underworld with the unwanted socialising among the hell raisers, who invade my home. I fight them I will not give in and yet I am still demand to called be love and light, for I am love and light. I hate evil, the dogshit form of human society who must have malfunctioned at birth! I do not lie to them I call then dogshit, their evil I am cruel with a twist to anything that comes in harm their souls are black their presence stinks.

I love to love all that come in love

I love to be mean to all who come in harm

I love to torture evil

I wonder again why they all want to claim me as either a wife or child ' I have no father and I have never been married' I tell the faceless unknown who is trying to claim, my pretend father lets say and I have not had a wedding I state to my also unknown husband.. no wedding no marriage..have that!!

The house is in silence yet I can hear whistling from the kitchen, I class myself as a pooper scooper cleaning up the dogshit to protect the love and light and call upon my own spirit of past lives to help me protect me and become one.. the bird, the beast, the being joining my human form of man ready to tackle whatever happening go on in my home tonight. As one....just me, myself, I..

I refuse to be claimed as a child or a wife, I shall choose my gods who I pray to and it ain't you' I tell the unknown.' for he/she who tries to claim my life with be destroyed by the power of god' I carry on stating with a more sarcastic, arrogant tone in my voice. 'Great another night mingling with the dogshit from lower dirt city'.

The radio comes on, the channel changes, I hear a bang upstairs I smile I do believe someone is here... I wonder who is here... which side have they come from although I am rarely invaded by those of the light so who is the dark shadow that shots across my living room. More to the point who turned the fucking radio on!! :-/

The radio lyrics blast from the kitchen..., I wanna stop and thank ya baby, how sweet it is to be loved by you!

I wonder if someone is playing head games here! I hear a gruff faded distant yet near voice...a male voice mutters my name.

I see a face project on my living room floor, a big fat cheeky face with a huge smile. The atmospheric energy is rising, as the frequency starts to rise I shake and drop crumbs from my chocolate muffing all over my white dressing gown, I start to see little faces of beings pop up everywhere. Am I imagining this? Ghosts are difficult to describe, you cannot always see them but sense them, it takes a lot of energy for a ghost to appear in past form. They look like a projected hologram perfectly formed with out the human solid form, more lighter less dence, if that explained a little how they appear to me.

They call me the devil's child ' but I am not a Catholic, and is it the pope who ordered the murder of millions of pagans,  really the devil. Pope Gregory was an evil man and devil spelt backwards is lived, so did the devil live? He was once just an evil man?' I reply to that insult.